"Crashin In" by The Charlatans U.K.

Today was my first day back at work. Honestly, I didn't know what to expect. I was just hoping that all of the problems that I complained about to ITSS before I left for break, were resolved. The work orders were piling up and the excuses as to why they weren't being resolved faster were ridiculous. When I got in, after classes in the lab started my office phone rang. It was Jessica, which confused me as to why she was calling. Apparently I left my phone at home, but I'm holding it? She told me my mother called her to get in touch with me since she has my office number and to tell me not to worry I left my cell at home I didn't lose it. But I had it on me! I was confused and called home to find out exactly what was going on. It looks like one of the old iphones that I use now as an alarm went off and it sent my father into a tizzy. He ran and told my mother I left it home, and how if I didn't stay up late this wouldn't have happened.

After that, and after Mobruka and Milly left, I started to work on some of the coding for research since I had a meeting at 5. So I started to work on it, but had to stop since I was falling asleep. I put my jacket on and closed the door to my office after putting a sign on the door saying I would return in 20 minutes. I figured this was enough time for me to just rest my eyes and no one should bother me. I couldn't fall asleep, but I guess taking that time to relax helped. The day was pretty slow, until my meeting. The meeting went well and I have some visual work to do with some charts. I didn't' really expect to be there until after 8, but I guess that happens sometimes. Not to say I dislike going to the meetings, I just dislike being there so long. The meeting was interesting though. We were talking about Professor Stoudt's next research projects and he said that i could always suggest something and I work on it with him. He said he would be happy to do that. I mentioned that I would continue something with cyber bullying and reminded him that that was what i wrote about when I was in his class. He said that he wished he remembered since someone recently came to him asking him if he had any data about it and he said no. I wasn't really happy to hear that, but the opportunity may come up again. Who knows? My other idea was in regards to World of Warcraft and how people interact with each other in the game. He said that this is something that is currently going on, as in this is a topic people are looking into as in how people behave in games. He said that he would be happy to help me with any of these when I am in grad school. He said he strongly suggests Selma and I get on that asap. The both of us have been to lax about things though. When Selma and I left we were talking about the meeting and how it dragged on. I also told her how I am afraid to talk about things during the meetings. That I am afraid of sounding stupid, or looking to overwhelmed during the meeting. She said she is afraid of sounding stupid as well, that she just talks and doesn't really have any restraint as to what she says. She said she feels Kim, the grad student in our section, does work without discussing it with us first. So she bombards us with all this work she has done which is overwhelming. This is true, it could add to why I feel overwhelmed at times. Selma said that if I weren't smart I wouldn't be in one of the major sections of the project. This did make me feel somewhat better, though I still feel like a deer in the headlights at times.

When I got home my mother filled me in on all of the stuff going on with her and this nuclear test. She is going thursday to take this nuclear medicine pill. After she takes it she has to keep her distance from my father and I which will be interesting. She also has to keep her distance from the cats which will be more difficult. She can't touch anything that we will use, if she does we can't use it for 5 days. If she does need to touch something she has to wear gloves. When she showers it has to be after us not before us and all the things we use will have to be taken out of the shower it can't be around her. The towels she uses has to be put in a bag and kept away from us as well for 5 days. It just seems so crazy. She told me about this doctor she had to go to as well and how crazy she was. After sitting my mother down in the office to talk to her about things, she asked to see a form of identification from my mother and then held it up next to her face to make sure it was her. She said the doctor was really something alright. I told her that she should talk to our endocrinologist since she is the one that recommended this doctor. This doctor also said that my mother has to go for this test once a year, she wasn't to happy about this though the people she knows that has taken the test already didn't say anything about it being a yearly exam.

"Blonde on Blonde" by Nada Surf

It has been a while since I've written here. I've been busy it's trying to enjoy my spring break. I have also been trying to not stress over not being reappointed a therapist. It will be two months Monday since I last saw Felicia. I even tried to contact her and the cell she had specifically for clients is deactivated. Hearing the message it was off did not make me feel any better, it made me feel a whole.lot.worse. Today I heard from this Joanne woman, she will be resuming for Felicia though I am trying to think positively about things. Trying to not associate any of her cultural background as negatively impacting topics I may discuss with her. If she makes me feel the way Randi did, and after pointing it out to her she does not offer a solution I will move on. But I don't want to think about that, that is one of my problems, over thinking and anticipating negative. I see her in a week.

This coming week is going to be really difficult. On top of going back to work, my mother will be taking that radioactive medicine pill to kill any remaining cancer cells if there are any left. So for 24 hours we can't be around her and then for the week we need not keep distance. It's going to be hard to keep the cats away from her. Locking the up in a room is not an option and closing the door to keep them away from her isn't an option either. It has the adverse affect. She has been waiting a while not hear from this doctor to get this done. Especially due to the fact that not being on the thyroid meds can lead to having a heart attack and other serious problems. I know she will be relieved to get this over with ASAP.

Yesterday I had a research meeting which was late in the day. It was fun, and I wish we had more like this one. It is just difficult to find a time where everyone can be happy. I still did not think this project would take so long to complete, then again I haven't worked on one before so anything is possible. We have a big presentation coming up to represent the gender studies dept. So we need to get things together so there is some data to put together to put into a presentation. Just doesn't help that I was invited to the beta test of Diablo 3, cause all I want to do is play it. There are two things in associate with the spring that bring back really good memories of my childhood; they are listening to Beck and playing Diablo. I think I spent a large amount of time doing hat over a spring or two and it just is something that resonates in my head strongly.

The past weekend, I forgot to mention, was Mike's nephew's birthday. He turned on and the family got together to celebrate. I gave Mike money to put towards the nephew's swing set and also finally gave the beating heart pillow to him that I got him for Christmas. His family was very warm and and friendly which made me feel very comfortable. I of course didn't know how many people to expect which freaked me out. Mike suggested I had some wine and I did and resulted in me getting drunk, sending out inappropriate texts and then feeling horrible the rest of the time cause I was drunk. Yay me... I had a concert that night too to finally see Nada Surf and I was late due to the train and missed majority of the show. Since they were playing on Easter Mike suggested we go which turned into a mess. He started to get sick, he says being over worked and taken advantage of by one of his school mates that is working on her film thesis. So I didn't go to the show after I bought tickets and had to be short $60. Made me feel great about things.


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