"Outcome" by Beck

Saturday: Visiting my father today actually was a lot easier than it was when we first brought him to the emergency room. Security wasn’t up my ass for beeping, though I didn’t have on a big coat like I did before. We went up to where he was in intensive care and walked around the halls looking for him. We didn’t have a room number so it made things difficult with finding him. I wanted to ask a nurse but my mother said not to yet. As we walked back my father called my mother as she passed and we were about to enter his room until a nurse stopped us and said she wanted to check him or something. Standing outside his room I noticed a sign on the door warning people that they need to wear protective gowns and I believe face masks and gloves before entering. Not that we would catch anything from my father, but he might catch something from us. I read the rest of the sign which said to wash your hands before touching him and I coughed in my hand. I coughed several times and wondered if the nurse would stop me before I entered his room. After the nurse left, and told us we could enter, we did that and didn’t have to put any protective anything on. He sat in the bed still not looking like himself. Tubes and wires ran up and down his arms, one arm was intravenous the other arm was monitoring his blood pressure. He is wearing a catheter as well which I am sure isn’t pleasant at all. For some strange reason, we also didn’t notice until later on that he had some monitor on his right ear which had a glowing red led light. He said he hadn’t really eaten anything, just some jelly on some bread and I asked him if he wanted the fruit cup from his lunch tray. He ate it and I continued to ask him what he wanted in between my mother telling him about the things he is missing in the house, such as the drama with the tenants. I brought him an apple juice, and a dry looking turkey sandwich which he barely ate. My mother asked him if he was going to be moved to a room and he wasn’t sure. He isn’t allowed to have a phone due to the whole germ thing. I guess they can’t just clean the phone washing away the prior users germs so instead they just deny you one. Luckily he had his cell. We brought his charger so he could at least have some way of contacting us if he needed something or if he was getting a room instead of relying on yelling for a nurse’s attention. We stayed about an hour before we left.

He called me while we were on the road to let us know he was finally moved to a room. Tomorrow we will find him and hopefully he is feeling better. I don’t think he will be coming home anytime soon though especially if he continues to have a fever. I have to see how the rest of this week pans out with him and returning home. When he had an infection years ago he was in the hospital or 3 weeks. I don’t think he will be there as long, though it would be good to know what caused it and how long it was going on without us knowing.

While I was sitting on the couch with my mother, I brought up how he is shaky and not as lucid as he normally is. I said I hope its just because of the fever and the infection and will go away. Him being in the house and not being lucid makes me think of my grandmother. This I think would be more difficult since I would see him everyday. We’ll see how he is tomorrow and the rest of this week.