"Avalanche" by Matthew Good

Well I feel like I may have gotten hit with an avalanche recently. Some things just have gotten a little crazy and I feel I am getting distracted from what I need to do. I really need to focus on finding a gre class and getting that out of the way. I need to not focus on events and things out on, though some are stressing me out to think about. It also doesn't help that Felicia is not available to help me. I spoke to Dr. Giviens who helped me find Felicia, and she said all the concerns I have about this new person I can take up with them when we meet. She also said I should call them and tell them this is disrupting my schedule. I didn't call I really am waiting for them. I will have to call this week though since I would have missed two sessions if this was with Felicia. I still have my list of third to discuss with her, I have yet to add anything to it.

This week I had an altercation with Milly over something stupid. I understand that she may be in class and I run around doing things she might not be aware of, but I think she should pay attention more. The automatic stapler ran out of staples so I filled it. A student came in and Molly sent them to me. I pointed to the stapler and they went back to where Milly was standing only to be sent back to me. I was annoyed she wasn't paying attention and I raised my voice a little so she would wake up and asked what she was doing and I told her I filled the stapler. She said she didn't know and when she came into my office she said how I need to learn how to talk to people. I got infuriated and wanted to tell her to learn to listen, but I said nothing and just did continued to write questions for Mobruka. Questions, mind you, that were ridiculously difficult for her students to complete. It was fun though watching their heads explode as they read them and tried to answer them.

I have been trying to not over think the while situation with Milly though I noticed that she doesn't stay in the office long after her classes are over. She just leaves. Is fine with me honestly because the room gets crammed. Especially when she lets students into my office to talk to them. It's annoying. So she will leave early and not say much which is fine. I need to talk to Mobruka about it better and tell her that the reason I am not cleaning my office faster is so that they have a place to stay until her office is ready. I also like the company, not a fan of being there alone. Especially if drama ensues.

I wish I had someone else to go to concerts with since I feel I exhaust Mike with all the shows I want to go to. The most recent was Matthew Good and what made things rough with this show is the fact it didn't start at 7pm but at 9:30pm. Matthew Good didn't perform until 11 which upset Mike since he had early class the next day. When we got there and found out when he was going to perform I told Mike we could leave but he insisted on staying. I am happy we did the show was overall really good, even if I couldn't meet him after the show like he normally does since he was sick.

I wanted to write an entry sooner here but since this week sped by I didn't get a chance to really work on each day. I also get lazy and don't feel like writing here all the time and put things off. This week has been crazy too. I have this vent problem in my office that apparently I only feel. It caused me to have some sort of neuralgia where I have this pain being my eye that leads to my neck and ear. I went to see my eye doctor and he told me my vision is fine there isn't anything to worry about. Of course I expected the worst. To hear I was going to lose my vision or my eye was going to fall out. I told Mike all about this and just relaxed as we went out to dinner. I didn't want to go out by him but he asked so I agreed. Everything was fine until he had a massive anxiety attack in the middle of the restaurant. He said he wanted an ambulance and got hysterical running out the door. It made me so horribly nervious I didn't know what to do with myself. I felt as if I were going to throw up all over the place. He came back in and I talked him out of it. He calmed down finally and was able to relax. I wanted to talk to Felicia about ways to calm him but I feel I did a great job of doing so on my own. During our car ride back to his house I told I'm how I bumped into Vanessa who basically guilted me about Alicia's wedding. I didn't plan on going since its in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Mike said that I shouldn't feel pressured into that which is how Jessica feels as well especially since we don't really have the money. I know she is busy with a weddings as well. I'm tired of hearing about them honestly. I have my cousins to consider in the falls as well which will require me to get on a plane. I look forward to them being over.

And on a side note, it isn't ever fun leaving your wallet somewhere and realizing it when you are 20 min away from your house. Then turning back to get it during daylight saving time.


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