"99% of Us is Failure" by Matthew Good

Monday: I had to get up early on Saturday and get myself ready since it was my birthday and since I was going to finally meet Ian Somerhalder. The ride to Jersey was really quick, but finding parking took forever. When we finally got in the mall, there were signs all over showing the event that was going on for Vampire Diaries. After Mike picked up our tickets we got on line, and I felt really old. The line was made up of 12-16 year olds and random parents. There were 2 girls behind us that were in their early 20s so that made up for things. We waited on line for an hour and it wasn’t until we got fairly close that we started to hear the girls scream, something I knew would happen. I was excited but at the same time I was trying to keep my cool since I tend to get overly excited and then get to nervous to even think. As we got closer to meeting the cast, 2 people connected with the event among the staff at Hot Topic, kept reminding us we were not allowed to take pictures with the cast, touch them, or give them gifts. I really wanted a picture with Ian, but I guess I would just have to settle for being in front of him and accepting his signature. As I approached the table, I assume it was his agent or someone close to that, came up to me and was all in my face about the policy of no pictures, gifts, touching and whatever. He stared me down and I just said “yeah I know” and looked him dead in the eye as if he was insane or thought I was deaf. When it was finally my turn, Mike in front of me, I greeted the actor that plays the vampire with blonde hair. He seemed a little cold at first but after he asked me how my day was going and what was up, after mentioning it was my birthday he loosened up and wished me a happy birthday and informed the other 2 cast members. He reached out to shake my hand and I was afraid to touch him being we are not allowed to touch the actors. I was afraid if my hand met his I would be trampled on by 3043824 security guards and then thrown out of the building. But that didn’t happen, the policy is you can’t reach out and touch them but they can initiate it and touch you. So then the female co stare then gave me 5 and then Ian gave me a fist bump. I nearly died. He literally has looks that books take pages to tell, his beauty really is something that cannot be truly captured on screen. I pointed out that I was there mainly for him and he just smiled. I don’t remember what it was exactly he said back to me but as I left the store with Mike I teared up like a little girl.

After gallivanting through the mall it was time to head back home for my dinner. I got home and had to take care of some things to get ready and had people calling me informing me they were on their way or there already. I just told them to go inside and hang out and wait for me. I was running late but at the same time I wasn’t since I told them to get there early since I know some people like to be late. Mike and I picked Jessica up and headed to the restaurant. Joseph, Aisha, and Alicia were there already and Vanessa came in shortly after. Mike I think is done with how Alicia and Vanessa act, I was just thinking about us since I was sitting with Aisha, Jes, Joseph, and Mike and almost in a way were separated from them. I sat and was waiting to hear back from Suzanne and Isadora. I sent an early message out in the day saying if you weren’t at the restaurant by a certain time that they would take the table away and they would be forced to sit not with the party. I never heard back from Isadora which made me think of what I told Aisha previously about how she was so disapproving of me going to the Ian event and how I planned to much. I don’t know if she was just really upset with my choice or what was going on. She canceled on me 3 min before the table was taken away and said that basically she was so sorry and something came up. It was on my mind all night and really pissed me off badly and turned into the only thing I could think of at times. This isn’t something new for her and I wanted to see how to approach the situation since she tends to back off until she knows I am not angry any more. I didn’t want my friends that were there to not think I didn’t appreciate them being there, because I did, it was just that I am tired of her making up stories. One year she told me the place I picked was to far, the next year she didn’t drink beer. I don’t know if she was not going because I didn’t go to her birthday, but I made plans with Mike literally months in advanced and I wasn’t going to cancel because she made plans a week before her birthday. I don’t think I will go to her birthday next year since she didn’t go to mine, I think that is only fair. It makes me feel like I am dealing with a child and that I have to stoop down to this low level to deal with her and it pisses me off. Whether or not something serious happened and she couldn’t go, the least she could have done was tell me earlier, not 3 minutes before the table was taken away.

The rest of the night went smoothly and only got better after Alicia and Vanessa left since they were holding the fun back with their immaturity level. Jessica and I discussed it the next day and she even said she doesn’t remember Vanessa acting like that previously. The rest of the night was very memorable and a lot of fun though I really think that Mike got a little out of hand with the wine he had. His tolerance is low, and then lower with the medication he is on so he was acting really unlike himself. Sadly the night had to come to an end and I have some pictures that I shared on facebook which had me thinking. Usually something happens and Isadora backs off after she doesn’t come and waits for me to say something. I am wondering if she will read the captions on my fb pictures and take offense to what I had to say. I will have to wait this one out and see what it is she tells me that happens.