"Trouble" by Ray LaMontagne

Thursday: To say the least about today, it was gray. A bright shade of gray before a storm, before rain.

I didn’t feel like getting out of bed, but struggled to and rushed off to work. I was too distracted with what happened the night before to really read for class or read for entertainment’s sake. I was more disappointed, at this point, in Jessica than angry. I walked into the office and found Shelain, Mayra, and Milly sitting talking about something or making copies. I wanted their opinion and told them the story. Milly sat looking at me with a look on her face expressing “what the fuck?” Shelain’s face wasn’t much different. Shelain suggested blocking his number, which is pretty much what was decided, but I’ll get to that. The thing we are wondering is if it will continue after we block his number. It was getting close for me to have class and I spoke to Dr. Lanzone quickly. I told her what happened and she said that if its easier for me to say I had a low and was with her to say that. I didn’t have to though.

I went to class and made sure I was there early, 10 minutes early actually. Anna came in the class and closed the door literally as class started. So basically you need to be in class early or just don’t bother at all. After finishing the quiz on a reading I read 3 times and still didn’t grasp anything from, Anna mentioned something about an assignment due. I went up to her after class and asked her what was due. She told me the girl Isabel should have contacted me and I looked at her as if she were nuts and said that this never happened and that I hoped to exchange info with her since I wanted to have a contact. She was upset that I didn’t get the information but said that my hypothesis and research question was due and to submit it when I got a chance. I went to her office to talk to her more about that and she actually said she liked my 15 sentences the most in the class. Also said that me citing things counts towards participation since no one did that and it showed that I cared about what I submitted. After I asked that I asked her opinion about the situation with the bird to see what she’d think. She said that I should block the number, and then if he keeps calling from another to then go to the police. The reason I told Anna is because she is gay as well and I thought maybe that she’d maybe point me in the direction of going to the police now or waiting to see what happens. But I felt better after talking to her since I felt such unrest after being asked to leave the classroom.

When I left I headed to Starbucks to get a drink. I called Aisha and spoke to her about what I said in the previous paragraph about blocking the bird’s number. I walked as fast as I could to Starbucks as the heavens growled. The thundering was constant and really eerie with flashes of lightening. I wanted to get my drink and run to the train but couldn’t because of the down pour. So I just waited and called home. I lost service in the middle of telling my mother I was staying in the city till the rain passed, but my father was to busy being an asshole when he answered the phone that I couldn’t even get that far in the conversation. When I called back my mother said she kept trying to get me and that I should stay in the city since my area was under tornado warning. I remember a time in my life where bed bugs and tornados were not things I worried about. When the down pour subsided I ran across the street, past the mob of people waiting for the rain to end because they are made out of sugar, down the subway steps. On the ride home I read about a page of “The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo” and then fell asleep. When I got in I told my mother that its best to block the bird, she said she wants to see if he calls again and then she will.

On a side note, the professor I had last semester is trying to get a research team. Dontay told me about it and I emailed the professor, after seeing him in the hall and expressing my interest to him, saying that I want to be involved. It would look great on my resume, and when I apply for grad school.

Apparently Park Slope got hit with the tornado, Jessica apparently wasn’t far. The weather was a reflection of how angry I was yesterday, or that is how I saw it. And what it meant to me. As Anna, Shelain, Mayra, and Milly all pointed out, this is her fault that he has my number. Why she didn’t clear her personal information from the phone escapes me. But the fact that he has my number is her fault. Whether or not he is maliciously doing this, I don’t know. I can only think that it is since that is the only thing that makes sense. How can you call someone you don’t know, by accident for 3.5 months? I really wanted to go out and spend time with Jessica this weekend, but I know it will come up in the conversation. And that it was very thoughtless of her to do something like that.