"Man in Fire" by Edward Sharp and ate Magnetic Zeros

Sometimes I feel like I an just a huge inconvenience to the head of the dept I work at. This is something new though. Every Year, starting July 1st they are given a new budget since that is when the school hear starts. If the budget for certain things isn't used, it goes to waste. The money isn't allocated to somewhere else, it just is lost and in some cases they do not get it back. Or I should say in most or all cases if it isn't used it's gone for good. So the department is given money to hire someone to work in the lab, given the lab is going to be destroyed more than likely in December. That doesn't mean that it shouldn't be used in the meantime. It should be utilized especially since so many labs are being closed due to my college's stupidity. When I was first told about the was a possibility of them getting money I asked him to find out. This went on for a month and he didn't do anything. After discussing things with Dr. Lanzone she told me that we had the money and out of luck one day when she was there we went to speak to the person in charge and found out that it's true. We told the head and he acted as if it were amazing news. To take away from the situation going on at the time, his son was missing or I should say his son was being irresponsible and didn't let his father know he was over a friends house, but I digress. When I made arrangements for him to work on my new paf he was busy on the phone so I was forced to reschedule. Dr. Lanzone has been on top of things and constantly reminding me. It's not like I am forgetting I am not getting the help I need from him. I wish she could be in charge of it for me. So I just asked him today through email about Monday and he told me I had to be there at 10. I feel like he is purposely just trying to make it more difficult for me to be there but I'll have to show him up and be there and get this done!

My therapy session I think went well. I want to say it was just a lot of me talking about things which she said helped her understand me a little better. I spoke to her about what my mother told me and she said it was helpful. She also told me I need to relax and not stress with the GRE. As she said, "people that normally aren't stressed, stress over the GRE" so for me things are worse. She said maybe I'm putting to much time into studying and I should put time into hanging out with friends. She asked about Mike and I explained he is busy working. Things are just rough and I need some time to just decompress, but I feel when I don't study I am wasting time not doing anything. I don't see it as time to relax but as time I wasted doing nothing. Maybe I need to think of it differently, this way I won't have blood gushing out of my nose and not feel overwhelmed at times where I feel as if I am being smothered.


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