"One Love To Another" by Edward Sharpe and The Magnetic Zeros

So my method for studying has worked out somewhat well. I can't say it's fool proof though it motivates me to stick to it otherwise I have to deal with other distractions at night such as my non-understanding father. I don't know if he understands that I'm taking a class that costs money and it's not that I'm taking a class that's for free when ever is there a class that is free. I feel there are so many things with my father he doesn’t understand and doesn’t choose to understand either. Another example of this is when I have a low blood sugar.

Sometimes I feel when I talk to Joanne she looks at me in a way that makes me feel as if I am possibly being judged. Yes its something I was afraid of and did not want to deal with with her. I know that when I discuss things that I tent to obsess about or things that tend to be my mind, I feel as if she wonders why that bothers me and makes me feel that it’s not important. But it isn’t always like this. A good example is over this testing results I had sent to her. She told me that it wouldn’t really do much with how she is going to treat me, and that it would just give her more info on me. That’s great but I want her to use the results to help me with studying. Maybe I am expecting magic in the notes, or that she will see something that Randi didn’t since I didn’t feel she did much with it when she was originally given the results. So, the counselor at my school contacted me and left me a voice mail saying she was mailing my results to Joanne, but through the mail. She might as well have sent it through carrier pigeon since it would probably take just as long. Why not fax, email, or give it to me to give to her? It would be so much faster. I feel that mentioning that this annoyed me to Joanne will only make her ask me why it bothered me. Especially when she told me that it wasn’t going to be something that would be that important since she already knows what the reports are going to say.

I don’t want to stress over that or over little things. I know that being at home is enough stress at times especially worrying about my mother. She toes have healed, it now is just the wound on her leg and her hand. Her hand is somewhat better and the swelling is going down each day. The only problem is she is worried she won’t be able to use her hand anymore. She can’t move her fingers as it is or I should say barely can. It is something that I have been afraid of as well. She needs to really consider malpractice, I just feel that she gets overly stressed thinking about things and things to come to want to deal with it.

Surprisingly my cousin wrote me the other day and we spoke for a while. Not counting her initial email out of the blue and then her quick response. We spoke through gtalk for a while. I wanted to ask her for her number but I didn’t know how to ask. I felt the last time I asked she just ignored me asking. It was a good conversation none the less though.

I feel like I had to add more but I don’t remember what I was thinking about putting here. I think I should go study.

P.S. I had a weird random dream with Dr. Lanzone in it only to wake up and find she called me. She was wondering if I was in and I won't until the 11th. I honestly don't even want to be there then since I am taking this time to study. I feel that there isn't any point for me to be in the lab right now since there isn't any class there. I should just take this time to focus on what is important. But I feel I may be dragged in...