"Barrel of a Gun" by Depeche Mode

Saturday: Thinking of how I want to handle the situation with my last session of therapy becomes a little problematic. I do not want to come off as putting her in her place, or only thinking of the negative that has gone on in our sessions. She has helped me with things, but I should have realized when I went back to her that I am older, wiser, and my personality and thinking is different than it was before. So the methods she has used before might possibly not work as they did before. I would point out to her how it would upset me that when I would start with telling her what is going on, and my story would twist and turn and go down a path leading to the main idea and be full of different elements, when she would cut me off to question why I was discussing what I was it would turn me off. It would make me feel like not talking about things with her. I know that there have been topics that have come up, well technically not come up since I never discussed them. Some things have been issues and I never spoke about it with her. I just didn’t feel comfortable. I didn’t feel she would judge me, its just that based off of previous things that had gone on during sessions I really wonder how I would be advised. She has pointed some things out to me and I keep them in my head in a folder under “important” and I will not forget them because I feel that they are really important for me to remember in life. I just wish I could have gotten more out of her, and shared everything and not cared. But then I always felt that me being there came down to money. That came up years ago, before I started to go to her again and it was something that did come up especially when she mentioned how I was the only one on cigna that she had as a client since they were so horrible with paying her eh. And last the fact that she fell asleep on me 3 times is also an issue. Something that really isn’t good at all. I think if I mention this to her it probably would be a lot. I know I am going to bring up how I didn’t like how she questioned my thought process and that maybe I should have considered going to someone else but I didn’t since I felt that she would help me like she had before. I should also add that after I was tested for ADD and found out that I just have stressors that bog me down and create problems with me completing work that I don’t think she really understood the test results. After Aaron explained them to her, I think she just wasn’t to sure about things which made it upsetting for me when she would always bring up the fact I was diabetic then make it seem like I don’t take care of myself.