"Rich" by Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Monday: My throat has been bothering me all day and its pain to swallow. I figured it wasn’t anything to serious, it wasn’t until I got in from being out with Jessica that I saw that it looks like I have a throat infection. I guess after trying several remedies and not being able to find something to help resolve the issue I needed to look in the back of my throat to see what was going on. Tomorrow I’ll go to the doctor and get some antibiotics to help with this.
Today I finally applied for health insurance, which as my mother put it, took a huge weight off of our shoulders. Hopefully I get approved for health plus so I don’t have to stress out. The office was empty, mainly because of the holiday which worked out great for us. We went rather late, but the process took all of 20 min and then we were out.

I went to meet Jessica to get some dinner. I was really wanting to try the restaurant Fonda, but of course with my luck the place was closed. More than likely it was closed just for the holiday but knowing that area it could be closed for rent. I told Jessica how I didn’t particularly care for Mike’s friend who got us the tickets to see Eddie Izzard this past Saturday at MSG. I think everything was fine until she came over to me, lock her arm into mine and asked me why I was with Mike and then referred to herself as a “fag hag”. “They still use that term?” Jessica asked me and I replied with “apparently.” I really don’t like people that consider themselves that, it was a huge turn off. Mike’s friend made a comment about me not saying much and he blamed me on being shy. Jessica said “if only she got to know you” and I said well I told him that it was due to the comment she made, he was surprised she said it and didn’t hear her say it. Over dinner we discussed things, she told me about her job and some of her cases and I spoke about, I the tenants and other crazy things going on.

I brought up how in therapy there are topics that I really just never felt like I could discuss with her. Jessica feels that I got very close with my therapist and saw her more as a friend than a therapist. I really don’t know how true that is because it can be looked at in 2 different ways. She can either be the close friend that I share everything with, which is what I would have wanted. Or she is the friend that I just tell things about my day to and not really have anything valid to talk about. Jessica agreed that as we get older in life and our tastes change that we would naturally find someone else to talk to, why I didn’t know this I don’t know why. I feel that her questioning the topics I wish to discuss during sessions really made me not want to share a lot with her and to tell her that in my last session I don’t know if that is really constructive criticism or destructive. I guess I will see how I feel when I talk to her. I know that when I asked Mike about his therapist and hoe he feels about her, if he could tell her anything, he said he could. I wish I had that with Randi.

As the night ended with Jessica, and we were in a cab being driven home of course she saves things that I find really important to talk about for the very last couple minutes before we go our separate ways. We were discussing grad school and she mentioned her ex. I asked her if she still spoke to him and she told me she does, but not recently and that is one of the reasons why she is so agitated. When I asked her what happened she said that it was a long story and she really didn’t have time to get into it, but I pointed out we had a few blocks left before I had to leave and to tell me. Long story short she was over his house for his birthday and their dog rolled off the couch and fell on the floor. He was across the room and yelled at Jessica as if she did it on purpose. His family said Jessica didn’t do it on purpose, but that didn’t matter. She said that when he drove her home they had some words and she said to him “what are you going to do? Hit me like your father use to hit your mother?” I sat there and didn’t know what to say. She said that she was going to see Wicked with him and didn’t know how that was going to work out. I asked her if he tried to get back with her and she just made a face. Obviously this is something I want to discuss with her, but I know that she is the type of person that needs to learn from her mistakes. There isn’t much I can say to persuade her or make her not want to continue to associate herself with him.

I just want the best for her...