"Dull Life" by Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Monday: I acknowledge that I am really bad at keeping up with my page. I do find it helpful with vending what is on my mind, I just get lazy.
Last week was really hell for me, or I should say the past 2 weeks. I will admit I am depressed. School really is pissing me off royally. My philosophy of art class is horrid. The professor demands us to do so much work and then is always out. Her current amount of absences is now 8 which is equal to a month. I kept putting off working on the midterm because I just felt so unmotivated in the class. You don’t know when she will be out since she doesn’t send emails out, and she always throws lame excuses into as to why she isn’t in. There use to be a pattern to when he would be in but lately that’s not happening. She just is out whenever. I have asked other professors for help and advice and all have told me to speak with the head of the department and if he doesn’t help me then go to the dean of students. When she was out the 7th time that was when I finally knew I had to go because I can’t take a class and worry about the grade all the time when I’m putting the work in and some students aren’t even bothering at all. No one shows that they really care, so why should I? I can’t afford to do poorly in this class when my goal is to pull up my gpa. So I made an appointment and spoke with the head today and he wasn’t even aware of all that is going on in the class. At times he seemed really surprised and just said “wow”. He told me to write a letter to him anonymously. In the letter I would discuss everything I spoke to him about in his office from her work load to her absences. He then said he would take the letter and bring it to her and ask what exactly is going on in her class and say a student left this in his mail box. He won’t tell her its from me which is what I wanted since I have her. He told me that if I get a grade in the class I am unhappy with that I would then have to go to the academic appeals board and appeal the grade. He said that the board usually favors in the students name and he said that from what he is hearing, that I am doing the work I shouldn’t worry. He said if it comes to that I need to do a 10 min presentation on why I should have my grade changed, and she will give one as to why I deserve the grade I received. But, one step at a time so it’s the letter first. One of the good things is I am friends with a professor that is on appeals board and I informed her already before of what was going on when I was asking for guidance as to what to dl.

My other class is so fucking weird, I think that the professor is to smart for his own good honestly. Teaching at a graduate level and assuming everyone is on the same page with him, but the nods from the students don’t really show that they understand. Its just that they don’t want to sit on the same topic all day and hope that maybe if they move on he will say something that will be like being struck with lightening and cause them to remember all of the information. I guess I’m guilty of this as well. I didn’t do well in class on the midterm. In regards to the grade he gave a speech about how there are 3 types of students in the class: the ones that passed, the ones that didn’t do as well as they wanted and don’t have to worry because they contribute a lot in class, and ones that didn’t do as well as they wanted and should worry because they don’t contribute. I don’t know how I fell into the category as a contribute, I rarely raise my hand. I think its all thanks to the notes I type up in class, they show that I pay attention in class to what he has to say. We have a paper coming up in the class that makes me want to scream. I am reminded of the midterm paper in philosophy. The paper isn’t due until the beginning of December, which at the time of him mentioning the paper gave us the month of November to work on it. He hasn’t given us the topics as to what the paper should be about but he discussed some things. All of the students in the class were buzzing about wanting to do a research paper on how music affects studying and mood. When he realized everyone was doing it he had to change it he didn’t want to read 20 papers on mood affected by music. Today in class I was so exhausted and cold… I was nodding out as he was talking and felt horrible about it. its not something I do in that class at all, but I was up earlier since I had a meeting with the department head in philosophy.

Registration is also a horrible time of the year. I think in hell that’s all they have, is registration non stop for things like being kicked in the sac by a midget in fishnets to things like being shot in the face with spit balls. All the good less painful events are taken first so you are stuck with having a midget kick you over and over in the berries. That’s what I am afraid will be what happens to me next semester. I was given a date 2 weeks after everyone registering, but relaxed when I was told that as staff at my school I can register earlier than everyone else. I went to the registration department and was denied this because I am going for another bachelors and that this doesn’t apply to me and I have to deal with the date given. So not fair, so I went to the dean of students. I hoped I could get help there but all I was given was a number to call someone in registration to discuss it. If they tell me that the reason why I was given the date so much later than everyone is due to the fact that I graduated and am going for another degree and they want the other students to go first, I find that to be bullshit. I understand they want the other students to get a degree and they get priority since I already have one, but I am doing this second degree because I was told to do this to get into the graduate program from graduate admissions. Its not like I woke up and this was something I pulled out of my ass. They have the final word on things though, hopefully if this does get resolved and they change my date I won’t have this late registration problem again, or at least as I am staff I don’t. they really should acknowledge that.