"I Can See Now" by Dead Can Dance

After telling Felicia during our session about Jessica she pointed out how this must create anxiety and stress for me. I agreed and said that this is why I am here discussing it with her. She made a few good points, though one suggestion she made stands out amongst the rest. She said I should tell Jessica how much I worry about her. She started off by asking me if Jessica knows how much I worry and with my response of no, she said I should tell her. I pointed out how I wish I had a time machine to go back to Monday when we were at the Great Frog together and that it was the perfect time. Felicia said that those opportunities will present themselves to me again.

My winter break is dwindling down and I can't say I have done anything that amazing in regards to persuing grad school. I have other things on my mind and when I think of how I will fit a GRE course into my schedule it just seems impossible. I would have to really adjust the work schedule I have and see when I could go. I don't want to sit in a class I spent a significant amount of money on to just fall asleep. I saw how exhausted I was when I would leave the office last semester. I don't know if it will be the same for this, I think that maybe the bullshit I had to put up with there also contributed to my exhaustion. And my lack of sleep... Though I really don't know if I would be any less tired if I got more sleep. Only one say to find out right?

Jessica knows how I feel about about my birthday and I think she is trying to push me with making plans while trying to not to about to be. It's a little frustrating since I really just am not in the mood. But she keeps saying things like "aren't you happy you didn't plan it for his weekend since it snowed?" and "you can always have it next weekend" which is true but I am having my tattoo finished. Not to say that Mike hasn't been either which now that I think about it does make me feel better. I feel like no one really cares since I haven't heard anything from people expressing interest but I guess I have been so caught up in that that I have been ignoring the people that have been showing interest. I can always plan something in March or so though next week I guess will feel like I am going to celebrating after I get my tattoo. Just going to be seeing some people that expressed interested in watching me get tattooed since they haven't seen it before such as Aisha. I guess we will see what happens next week and with how I feel if I want to do something in march when I know snow isn't a majors issue like it is now.


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