"You Do You" by Bear in Heaven

When I spoke to Felicia I said to her that I mentioned the are sometimes sessions when I come and feel I don't have anything to talk about. Today was not one of this days. I asked her about tardive dyskinesia and told her that, since I am a forensic psych major there will be times where I'll ask her psych questions since I can't get these answers from my professors. They are more research based and don't really have a lot of experience with clinical. She didn't know a lot but after telling her some of the twitchy symptoms my father has she said it is possible. Tardive dyskinesia is involuntary movements in someone's face and can affect their appendages and is caused by taking certain medications for a long period of time.

Another thing I spoke about was what was going on with how I felt about my tattoo. I had issues before I went with how happy I was with the design, I mean after seeing it how I felt about the design. The rough draft I loved, the second I didn't and after pointing it out to him and him making changes I was then happy to see how he cleaned things up. The experience I had when I was finally getting the tattoo was not as I imagined as well. Brian was an hour late, he looked exhausted and when I found out why which was due to him having an impacted wisdom tooth I was afraid he wouldn't be able to do things properly since he had taken so many Motrin to deal with the pain. My friends tell me how the design came out great and yes I realize it isn't finished, but I still have this negative view of it. What didn't help the situation is what happened with Aisha. She was telling one of her coworkers that she is going with me when I have my tattoo finished. The guy seemed all interested and she asked if he wanted to see the design. She showed him and with that he said that the tattoo looked like shit. Yeah totally what I wanted to hear. It reinforced how I have been feeling. To make things worse, not that it really had any affect on me, he offered to draw something up for me since he is an "artist" but expects me to pay him $100. How about no! When I spoke about this with Jessica she said to me how this is an issue that I should discuss with whatsherface, meaning my therapist Felicia. I told Felicia all of this in a trail of how the whole thing with my tattoo was bothering me. I didn't realize that I did to her what Aisha did to me. Tell me something that wasn't really a nice thing that someone said about her. Felicia said to me that it wasn't really necessary for Aisha to tell me even though she did not have any malicious intent. It still wasn't necessary for her to tell me.

I also spoke about things going on with Jessica, how she says she wants to move slow with this guy Jeremy but she is off fucking this cop and giving handjobs to that guy that treats her like a cum dumpster. I don't understand how you can say you want to move slow, but then be so loose with others. Felicia didn't have much to say, but feels I need to tell Jessica that I worry about her. I am afraid to see what is going to develop with Jessica now since Jeremy just wants to be friends. Well he said through a series of texts that he feels that she wants more and he wants to pretty much see other people and that he wouldn't mind being friends with her. He didn't think it would be fair to her for him to see others and her. So she pretty much ended that and said that she keeps going back to the whole "why wasn't it me." I told her that the more she dwells on that, the more she is going to become upset and settle for people that she shouldn't be settling for. She didn't have anything to say about the situation, but its true. That guy Rob is a great example. She can't have him as a boyfriend, so instead she'll settle on being just one of the girls he sleeps with. I wish that she would listen to me about things so atlas i could possibly try to help her, but I don't think I can. You cannot help someone that doesn't ask for it.